


Icy

by thelinksthatconnectus (orphan_account)



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Crack, Fluff, Hans isn't evil just a big dork, Hansoff - Freeform, Humor, M/M, So is Kristoff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-20 05:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1497760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/thelinksthatconnectus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hans and Kristoff are an odd couple, but they're happy to be together (that doesn't keep their lives from being weird though).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sandwiches and Such

Hans returned to the kitchen, having finished his meeting with another dignitary. It had taken him less time than he thought, and he couldn't help but whistle as he walked.

Once he entered the kitchen, however, he stood still, frozen as an ice statue.

"What?" Kristoff asked, cocking his head to the side. "Is there something wrong, Hans?" While he spoke, his finger remained firmly up his nose. To think that Hans actually held that man's hand!

Hans only remained still. This had to be a dream. For all of Kristoff's faults, he would never do something like this.

Right?

Kristoff sighed, and then put his finger in his mouth.

"Did you actually just do that?" Finally, Hans could again make himself move; he pointed straight at Kristoff. "Tell me that I did not imagine that."

"No, you didn't."

Mechanically, Hans walked back over to his seat at the kitchen table. For once, he was glad to be sitting across from his boyfriend rather than beside him.

An image of Kristoff's dirty, booger covered finger ran through Hans's mind, and a shiver ran up his spine.

He looked down to his plate. Since he had gotten interrupted while meeting dinner, most of his food was probably cold by now. He hadn't had the chance to finish anything, only eating bits and pieces of each food item. There were his green beans, mashed potatoes, and corn.

"Hey, what happened to my sandwich?" Hans frowned, and he couldn't help but notice what looked like crumbs on the sides of Kristoff's lips.

Kristoff rolled his eyes. "I don't get why you're mad."

"What?"

"We finish each other's sandwiches!"

Hans sighed. "And you pick your nose..." He stuck his tongue out. "And then eat the boogers!"

"Hey, you do too!"

"I do not!" Hans scowled. "I, sir, am a prince."

"All guys do it."

"Not me."

"I've seen you!"

Hans pushed away his chair. "You have not!" That was the one habit that he had never been able to break as a child, and thus had fiercely hid it, only doing it when he was in private.

Kristoff smirked. "Oh yes I have. I saw you do it one night before I came into our bedroom."

"No!" Hans repeated, his burning cheeks bright red. "No, you have not!"

Kristoff chuckled. "But Hans, it's like you always say: Love is an open door."

"Yes, left open by accident." As Hans continued to eat his meal, his cheeks slowly cooled.


	2. Sven and Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hans and Kristoff take a ride on Sven.
> 
> Writing this fic is so much fun.

"Aren't there any breaks on this thing?" Hans yelled.

Kristoff chuckled, secretly enjoying himself as the prince held Kristoff's waist even harder, pushing his face into Kristoff's back. "Of course there aren't! He's a reindeer, Hans!"

"That doesn't mean that you have to go so fast!"

Sven looked over to Kristoff, moving his head in a way similar to a nod. Kristoff grinned at him. This was definitely a risky plan, something that seemed more like what his overbearing troll family would think of. Still, it was a risk that he had been willing to take, and Sven, always loyal, was eager to help him.

"What are we even traveling so fast for?" Hans struggled to sit up properly; truthfully, he preferred his horse, Sitron, to Sven. Even if he had pushed Kristoff and Sven into a boat once (which had caused a few minor injuries and caused Kristoff to burst out laughing before helping Hans get out of the water), his horse at least would not try something as ridiculous as this.

"Oaken's is having a really big sale and I don't want to miss it!"

"Oaken's? What on earth is that, a tree?"

"Nope, a store. They're having a big summer blowout, and I don't want to miss it." He rubbed the bottom of his chin with one gloved hand. "Oh, and it has a sauna."

"It does?"

Kristoff grinned. "Oh, it certainly does. Want to try it?"

"Yes!"

If Anna or Elsa asked them where they were later, Hans and Kristoff could reply that there was a lot of steam between and around them. Things had definitely gotten hot.


	3. For Better or Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hans and Kristoff's relationship gets hurt when doors are shut. Luckily, they can be opened once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this was supposed to be a fluffy, funny fic, but this chapter got a little serious. This ship just gives me so many feels.

Hans turned away from Kristoff, his footsteps echoing across the small room. "Oh, Kristoff, if only there was someone out there who loved you."

For a moment, everything was still and silent, as if the world had suddenly been frozen over. Then, just as quickly, the world melted once again.

"Hans, you can't be serious." Kristoff stood up, throwing his hands into the air. "We can't seriously be breaking up because of one fight."

Hans didn't meet his eyes. He stopped in his tracks and looked down to the ground.

"You're just being over dramatic."

"Kristoff-"

"I'm serious." Kristoff walked forward, placing his hand on Hans's shoulder. "I care about you so much, Hans. I love you." He looked away from him. "And even if we did break up, there would still be those who loved and truly cared for me. Anna and Elsa are my closest human friends, and Sven is as loyal to me as ever. The trolls can be odd and desperate for us to get married, but they're also the best family that I could ever ask for. My ice harvesting buddies have always had my back, even as a kid. The real person that I'm worried about is you, Hans. Is there anyone else out there who loves you?"

The red head froze. For a moment, he was still, and then began to sob. Kristoff pulled him into a hug.

"I was being a bit dramatic." Hans said, tears rolling down his cheeks. "And what I said was wrong." He pulled off his gloves and wiped at his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Kristoff began to rub his back. He began to hum, holding Hans close as he shook. Eventually, he stopped crying and returned Kristoff's hug.

"You know," Hans said, "you're really warm for an ice harvester."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I guess I just thought that you would feel a little colder." He squeezed Kristoff a little tighter. "You really are nice and warm, Kristoff. I like warm hugs."

"I do too, Hans. I do too." Kristoff pulled him closer, allowing their lips to meet. Hans returned the kiss eagerly, leaning up to meet Kristoff. One of his hands found its way in Kristoff's soft, shaggy blond hair.

When they pulled away, Kristoff again spoke.

"Do you know else I like?"

"What?" Hans's eyes were wide.

"Snowball fights." Kristoff grinned. "Come on, let's go meet up with Anna and Elsa. Elsa is sure to be whipping up some snow right now, and you know how competitive Anna can get in games. It'll be fun."

Hans smiled. "That sounds fun."

Kristoff took Hans's smaller hand in his own, and together they went to look for their friends.

"Hey, Kristoff?"

"Yeah?"

"After this, do you want to build a snowman?"

"I'd love to." Kristoff grinned. "I just hope that it doesn't start singing."


End file.
